Job 33:4 (ESV) – The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
If you haven’t checked out part 1; you seriously need to! #Prt1
I was honestly TERRIFIED that I would be single… FOREVER! The ‘problem’ was, I wasn’t used to seeing females as young as I was… in the UK … tall.
Go over to the USA, and you’ve a whole OPPOSITE story!
But primary school & then especially high school were just…. NOT good.
I was teased often because my height. To make matters worse… I had NOTHING going for my boobs wise and certainly FLATNESS on the bum side. I wouldn’t say that I was anything close to being bullied – BUT I certainly didn’t have any comeback remarks for what was being said.
So one can imagine…. I’m pretty much an iron board figure, I’ve got glasses, I’ve got the buck teeth thing going on. I’m pretty much headed to NERD CITY! So I do what any high school girl would think to do, I change up my look!
Lemme walk you through it…
- I immediately started rolling up my school skirt. Had to be showing some thighs, even if they were as skinny as mine.
- Changed my school shoes! OUT with the shoe zone & IN with the plimsolls. Even though they were a size too small, and squeezed up my toes for dear life <– I thought that they made my foot size look smaller & thus more attractive.
- JUST DO IT BAG!! <– forget whether it could ACTUALLY hold the books I needed. It looked cute and slightly rebel..ish, so it was all in. I’ll never forget the day I got my bag… I was made up for life!
- Hair gel is a must! I grew up taking sole care of my natural hair. SOMEONE should have told me that you cant mix ‘not for’-natural hair products, with natural hair <– it will mash up your hair.
- Followed the trend. At the time it was: half you hair slicked across your face, lollipops in your hair, ribbons as hair ties, shoe laces just everywhere, neon high knee socks. Just your typical ‘B girl’ look!
I tried SO HARD to fit with these chicks and with fitting in, my attitude and my behaviour equally changed. I was giving my mum TROUBLE & ATTITUDE. Getting into trouble, going on report at school. Stopped trying in church… fully turned around & told people that I hated God. The list just continues!
It’s only back that I realise how much that primary school & most IMPORTANTLY high school … are all. just. temporary! Back them; 5 years additional years in school looked like a LIFETIME. I wanted to grow up already & reach my teens and be able to ‘do what I want’ -_-
That is like the biggest lie that society and the media portray. <– that the grass looks 100% times more greener on the other side. Nahh UHH! #wrong
Cherish EVERY moment of NOW. Whether you’re 16, 18, 21, 25, 30. 40, 50 (you get where I’m going) 😉 No moment lasts forever, no matter how great or terrible it is. If it’s good, embrace it & encourage that in your life. If it’s bad, then learn from it but don’t harbour it. I honestly look back at all the things and methods that I used to fit in; I just find myself chuckling. I’m STILL on a journey of accepting all the things that make me unique – & loving myself FIRST, before having someone else can love me. FYI boys do eventually grow 😀 and trust me; 6ft is the least of my worries!
Stay Sweet & Loving Who You Are,