VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: 5 key Steps To ‘Chirpsing’ A South London Girl

Chirps: To chirps is to chat to, woo or court another person (aka London Slang) – Urban Dictionary

Okay; so MAYBE girls in the South don’t exactly look like this in high school… We have WAY stricter uniform regulations!

But those that are familiar; will at one point in their life, have witnessed a typical South London girl.

You’ve got your:

  • Asian neeky crew
  • The Indian guys that are so great at cricket & maths
  • The neeky indian guys
  • The cool black guys that play basketball (may include the odd non-black person)
  • The one, two white people; who are BASICIALLY black (oreo)
  • The group of mixed people who are outlawed everywhere; SO just come together
  • The one, two white neeky person, who’s always alone & quite frankly…weird
  • The white people who are super sporty
  • The one person who has a teenage pregnancy
  • Yes there are more, but aint nobody got time for that…!

And then you come to; the CREW. The group of super cool, hugely popular, every boy wants to date them, body filled out early; group of girls.



Now for me PERSONALLY; I can say that spent a heavy portion of my teenage years, wanting to be like the girls within this group. I would rack my brain, trying to figure what they had that I didn’t.

Yet one of the mot interesting (and quite frankly) funniest things I witnessed in this time, so HOW most of the guys back then, tried to chirps these girls. So I’m spending this Valentine’s Themed blog; highlighting the top 5 ways that guys tried to make it happen 😉


You have to either: be in the popular guy group or be super athletic…(preferably basketball or track). Don’t you even THINK about placing a foot towards her, if you’re not popping. Popular + popular = the most famous couple in school. And there’s nothing we love more in high school than GOSSIP! So get your extra-curriculum ON & get your skills UP if you want to even get a glance.


Know other high school kids outside of your own high school: Nothing is cooler then walking through the centre of town; with your man knowing every bad boy that walks past! These girls are looking for KNOWN guys, so get your name and reputation out there. Girls want to be looking like princesses on your arm & can better YET; show you off to all the other girls that are jealous. So go out your name out & get to socialising… the AIM is to be stopped atleast every 5 minutes by someone that you know in town 🙂


Be willing to have selfies taken and posted on all of her social media. Or better yet; post them on your own social media platforms. Back in the day, Bebo & MSN were everything, so it was in your best interest to let everyone know that you were taken. Most girls are more than happy to showcase their relationship to the world & you will be no exception. Remember that ‘hottest couple of the school’ quote?


The rougher the area you come from; the better. Living in the suburbs isn’t gonna be enough for these chickas. Any quiet suburban neighbourhoods; is NOT what we are looking for. They are expecting a hard core area to be associated with you. Those that are aware; will know that certain areas of London, sound way more rough and hard-core than others. Peckham, Brixton, & Penge are the first ones that come to mind. Croydon; we hold our notorious ‘Thornton Heath’ as the ‘bad boy’ area. So make sure you’re chirpsing when you live near or on the infamous Green Lane 😉


Look the part! We’re talking bomber jackets, beanie hats, chains and even a pinkie ring. This is the ultimate and final step in ‘catching the girl’. When people see you in person; they’ve got to know and believe everything of the above. You got to make your girl feel proud; that all the other females are jealous! Get your walk right… lean and bop! Pinkie ring shining, bomber jacket ALWAYS on (even in the peak of summer, you’d rather cook than unzip it). The beanie hat comes off; only to showcase the fresh shape up and the waves that you’ve been nurturing & blinged up to the nines. Additional optional accessories:

  • Two phones (preferably the trap phone with a lycramobile sim), & the main phone should preferably be on a T-Mobile contract.
  • The boar-bristled brush to comb your waves at random interval
  • White iPhone headphones
  • Pinkie finger nail is grown out way past the rest
  • All name brand clothes! The more exclusive the name of the brand – the easier it will be to attract.
  • BONUS POINT: gold tooth!!!!!!!!!! <— then you’ve basicially made it!

So this Valentine’s Day, lets all just take a minute to remember where we’ve come from LOOL

The super bad dates, the dates that weren’t even dates, the dates that have stood you up, the CHAT UP LINES for days, the creepy uncles, the road-man that pulls up at the side of the road & try to dog-whistle at you, the person that’s wanted you since forever but you aren’t trying to hear that…

I hope this blog has helped to re-jog some memories & given ya’ll a bit of chuckle in time for any Valentines Day celebrations! Enjoy V-Day peeps ❤

Over and Out,

Marni_Faith x

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